Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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