Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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