I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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