So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
