He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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