My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
