Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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