Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
