I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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