You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
now i know why i became what i already was.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
