I'm so fucking centered right now
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
