yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
