hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
