therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
