Sponge bath it is.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
