God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
