U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
