You made me cry and you don't even care
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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