Even the bartender felt bad for me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
