i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
