hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
