She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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