What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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