Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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