morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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