3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
