I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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