Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
