Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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