ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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