I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This is the high leading the old right now
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
