Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
