Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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