is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
