I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
