We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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