dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
