only if we run a train.
done.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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