this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
