I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
