yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
