I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
