Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
