I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
