Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if only i could text you this smell
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
