the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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