i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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