i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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