I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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