its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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